in passing, may I suggest doing nothing?

ok, confession time, I sat down this morning and meditated. You are probably assuming I do that all the time, every day since it’s what I preach, but like I said, this is a confession.

power.jpg

So yeah, I have not been meditating daily.

Meditating daily since I had baby has been….let’s just say, more than difficult.

AND I THINK I KNOW WHY.

It is the same reason why EVERYONE FINDS IT HARD TO MEDITATE- because I am resisting. My body has been resisting it. My mind does not want to let go of the new stories and beliefs (well, not new, but hidden and now newly NOT hidden) that surfaced with birth.

I’d name the thoughts and ego beliefs “WHAT LIES BENEATH”, and ugh, it’s not pretty my friendly reader friend.

The thoughts possessing me with a toddler DO NOT want to be released, and so the resistance and road blocks to meditating have been enormous and scary looking.


The thoughts sound and look like this:

“I’m all alone and nothing is going to change”

“This is so hard and I am failing at it”

“I have ruined my older kids’ lives”

“I have ruined my body”

“Nothing is going to be the same ever again”

“No one understands me” (an oldie but goody)

“I have no help”

“No one listens to me”

“I’m a fake, fraud, faker faker who fakes”

“I have no idea what I’m doing and it’s obvious to everyone but me”

“I am crazy”

“My baby is a turd/piece of crap/terror/meanie/butthead”

“I can’t go anywhere or do anything because of the baby”

I will admit, some of these are VERY NEW for me. Or I have totally forgotten that I used to have them. Either way, they are possessing and caressing my mind and it feels very sorry for itself. Why would it allow me to sit and meditate- which would release the energy around these thoughts and allow myself to neutrally witness them? Then it would need to find NEW stuff for me to get stuck in. Insert a mountain of resistance!

So here I am, having this blissed out morning and feeling optimistic from one thing.


NOTHING.

I sat for 20 minutes doing nothing, listening to nothing, seeing nothing. I close my eyes and sit in my meditation chair. Because it has been so long since my last meditation (a few weeks? gasp) the thoughts were loud and quick. But they quieted down.


It takes around 10-15 minutes in silent meditation and then my mind does THE DROP. The drop is when the gap between my thoughts lengthens- and the coolest thing happens when this happens. My body mildly begins tingling and energy seems to start filling up all over. My mind feels calm and serene. It’s the best high I have ever had- and the coolest part is that it lasts for HOURS afterwards.

And just like that- my baby wasn’t bothering me. The negative thought patterns were either not there or so quiet it was easy to ignore them or neutrally witness. I was calm. Collected. Dare I say…hopeful?

All of this from just…well..NOTHING.

I taught myself how to meditate in silence because a book told me to do it to find peace, and then another book, and another, and then I realized all the scriptures I had read always preaching the same story. Stop thinking. Just listen and be still.

This means it is available to you as well. Go hike somewhere and sit on a rock or hill. Do nothing. Just listen for a few hours. You will be amazed at how your life will change. I highly recommend it.

Ask yourself these questions:

What if everything you think you need, is already within you?

What would happen in your world if you were comfortable doing nothing?

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on the other side of fear

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how do we change?