trickery
Trickery. Let's talk about it.
In the dance studio I often use, there is a note above the thermostat “Do not adjust temperature above 70*”. You can tell by the writing and exclamation points, this is important! So do I dare touch the the temp? No thank you!
You also have a sticky note taped inside of you, with a certain temperature you believe you shouldn’t go above. Don't know how to go above. And definitely subconsciously do not WANT to go above because, DANGER! But…your “temp” that I'm calling is your level of expansion. This is the amount of love, joy and success you are allowed into your body and out of it. “How much of the love of God am I willing to receive and give?” This max temp limit was set before you were born (thank you genealogy), and also adjusted during early childhood. Your ego and body know this temperature- and know where they are most comfortable. Maybe it's comfy now at the peak, or maybe it's comfy at a little lower, where it can stay there and not fluctuate too much. But trust me, your comfy zone? it's there.
What does this have to do with trickery you ask? Well, “trickery” is a cute little phrase from one of my favorite new age authors, Jen Sincero. Trickery is what the mind and body use when you decide, “You know what, I'm ready for 72 degrees now, 70 just isn't enough anymore”, I'm ready to love myself more, I'm ready to be less judgmental, I'm ready to see more people through the eyes of God." So you commit to a daily morning routine that's better for your brain and spirit muscles, or you join the workout group you want to for your physical muscle strength, or you consciously try to stop complaining, or you add some more real food into your diet, walk a mile a day etc, ready holy scriptures more and WHAM TRICKERY.
“Let's just start tomorrow”
“We don't have to meditate the entire time today”
“Maybe you are too sore and should rest today”
“You don't want to get too stressed out by being tired from waking up early for your new routine right? Yeah, hit snooze”
That little voice that is always trying to get you to GO BACK TO 70* DANG IT!
I truly believe that everyone has one problem “How much good am I willing to feel today?” From The Big Leap: "I have a limited tolerance for feeling good. When I hit my Upper Limit {(max temp!)}, I manufacture thoughts that make me feel bad. The problem is bigger than just my internal feelings, though: I seem to have a limited tolerance for my life going well in general. When I hit my Upper Limit, I do something that stops my positive forward trajectory. I get into a conflict with my ex-wife, get into a money bind, or do something else that brings me back down within the bounds of my limited tolerance.” -Gay Hendricks
But what about after you've upped the temp? Consistently? You've been showing up, making the changes, feeling fulfilled, ready to embrace more, share more, enjoying life….and then…you guess it, new level trickery.
What about that trickery? Baby, that trickery is next level Trix cereal tricky rabbit tricky. Because these tricks look and feel like such a good idea. They aren't the usually “nah, you're good” when it comes to going to bed at a reasonable hour, they are “oh my! look at that problem, you probably should help the whole world by fixing that" Or, “you know, my business is making good consistent money, we definitely don't need to keep watching it and being mindful”. Or one of my favorites, “You know everything is finally going so good, we should get a puppy.” (haha, kidding not kidding) Sound familiar?
Maybe not, because recognizing that level of trickery usually takes someone other than you to show you it, and only if you want to see it. (also called coaching… or a really trustworthy friend who doesn't mind you being mad at them!)
What I've learned about my own trickery at the level I'm at…it is almost invisible. I can't see it, smell it or taste it. It looks and sounds like it just makes sense. But really, it's putting me back into judgement, back into 3d thinking, back into being a savior or victim. It gets me back to feeling crummy, it puts my toe back into where I am comfy: chaos.
For example: My daughters and friends have a private teacher for ballet, and it's an intermediate advanced class, and I haven't been able to take it yet, or I chose not to, because I didn't want to embarrass my girls, but I wanted to take it. And this Saturday they said, “Sure mom, take it with us”…and then dozens of REALLY GOOD reasons of why I can't take class popped up. And I mean, really good reasons. And then…I caught myself. Why am I not wanting to go to class? Why wouldn't I just go? I KNOW it will make me happy. I know I will feel energized the entire day after. I know it brings me enjoyment. Why wouldn't I go?
Because…it keeps my temp lower by not going. And I want you to listen to this next part as if it is about you and something you enjoy: I LOVE DANCING. I have NEVER NOT felt like a million dollars in a diamond encrusted jacuzzi after dancing. EVER. I kid you not. So WHY AM I NOT TAKING DANCE CLASSES? Because, it keeps me at a safe level. I don't deserve the time to go. I don't deserve the enjoyment? Who knows, brains are wackaddoo. But my friend, what are you not doing on a consistent basis that is wholesome and wonderful and brings you so much freaking JOY????? Now, wondering why and trying to figure out why because once you figure it out you will automatically start going is TRICKERY AT THE NEXT LEVEL. Analysis will just keep you trying to figure out WHY instead of just GOING AND DOING IT. Commit NOW! Exactly as you are. Don't lose weight first or get a new outfit first or find someone to go with you first. Get out your calendar, block it off. Go.
It is safe to enjoy yourself. It is ok to feel fulfilled and happy.
Staying at an expanded level and continually expanding for me means constantly surrounding myself with people, friends, books, music, and feelings of worthiness and joy are key for me. I still need reminders that I am capable of holding and giving more love, that I am worthy of it, worth it…and that means so are you!
And want to know what trickery is? I haven’t posted on this thing for a YEAR!!!! TRICKERY!!! And I love it. Sweet sweet Annie, trying to stay safe. I love her. I love you.