but how do I feel feelings?
“How did you feel your feelings?”
“But how do I allow and feel the BIG feelings?”
“What steps are there to learn how to feel feelings?”
These are questions I hear quite often. And I hardly know how to answer them, because where those people are coming from is FEELINGS ARE REAL, SCARY, AND DEFINITELY MEAN SOMETHING.
That is not a place I live in or come from anymore.
I live in the land of, thoughts and feelings and emotions just happen. Just like it rains. They mean nothing, unless I want them to.
This gives me a lot of safety and permission to feel them.
But if I did have to answer those questions, I would ask a question in return:
WHAT DO YOU DO TO NOT FEEL YOUR FEELINGS?
Think about it, what are your tried and true ways to avoid, run away from, appease or numb your feelings? And can you observe these patterns without judging them or wanting them to go away (that's the tricky part).
I'll go first, and share my old ways of not feeling my feelings (that I still resort to as well):
*EATING FOOD
*SCROLLING SOCIAL MEDIA/ WATCHING TV SHOWS
*THROWING MYSELF INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM(S)
*THROWING MYSELF INTO THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS
*GASLIGHTING MYSELF THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE
*TEXTING FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO VENT/COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
*TALKING/GOSSIPING ABOUT IT TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN
*GOOGLING the poop out of IT
*EATING food (did I already mention that?)
So that's where I would suggest looking first.
“How am I avoiding feeling feelings? What works for me?”
And write them down. Draw little hearts around them. LOVE THEM. They have been serving you for decades. These wonderful ways to not feel your feelings. Bless them!
All you need is a willingness to feel your feelings. Ask for guidance and direction from a higher source.
Stand in front of a mirror, place your hand on your throat and say:
“I AM WILLING TO CHANGE”
“I AM WILLING TO SEE FEELINGS DIFFERENTLY”
And then go about your day, trusting, and knowing, that the way will be shown to you. I'll say it again, ALL YOU NEED IS A WILLINGNESS TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.
I LOVE YOU! Let me know what you learn about yourself!
A great resource to labeling your emotions and learning about them as to allow the letting go of them is the book “Letting Go” by David R Hawkins.
