growth and silence

the roses outside our house are gloriously happy right now. they are showing off in full peacockish manner. blossoming, blooming, spreading open for all to see their magnificent color and patterns and godlike beauty. 

and then, something I've never given my attention to, maybe because I never believed it to be too significant (or I just didn't care about) happens.

the bloom slowly starts to fade, and as it's fading, almost without notice, the ends shrink and shrivel and curl up as they dry under the sun. eventually, like a coral that's been gently touched by a passing fish, it pulls inward as it flakes apart like a brie crust and retreats.

the beauty part is over. that blossom performed its one job, to give the world (and maybe a few bees) its incadescent glory. and then it humbly, effortlessly, pulls back behind the curtain to give another rose its turn in the spotlight.

why am I talking about this? because lately I've had amazing opportunities to bloom and be there for the world and people. and during these times I feel beautiful and colorful and unique and the opportunity to help and share makes me blossom like a full blown magnolia.

and then...instead of being gracious like the lily, I fight the next part.

I judge myself for even feeling like I don't have the energy to keep blooming anymore. I scold myself for drying just a teeny bit. I fight the pulling and curling and shrinking. I fight fight fight fight fight because NO, I have to help more, I have to give more, I must blossom like the fake orchid in the nail salon where Lisa from Vietnam lovingly and silently takes care of my hands and feet for me while her gorgeous jade buddha hangs in each moment.

that orchid always gets my attention, look at it longingly, lovingly. "oh it must be real!" my heart wants to always believe it's real. even after two years, I still stare and wonder, "maybe it is?" two years people, and I still want this flower to be real.

it isn't. it's totally fake. no flower blooms 24/7, 365 days a year. 

just like humans aren't supposed to be productive and active 24/7, 365 days a year.

we all need rest. regrowth. deeper roots. space. calm. quiet. 

the closest flower to blooming constantly is the orchid, which, no shocker, is also the most sensitive and needy flower. like, the poodle of high maintenance flowers. 

no one wants to be high maintenance, but everyone wants to be amazing.

so the point of this is, maybe you are in a beautiful blossoming period. yes! embrace it! bloom for all of us to witness. do the work. get out there. give your family all of your best!

or maybe it's a time when your blooms have fallen, and it's winter. it's time to keep still, conserve your energy. just get through this season please because we love you even when we know it's not your time to grow.

or maybe it's your growing season. that one is hard, because all of that work and it looks like NOTHING is happening. that's ok, we know you are growing new and deeper roots and preparing for a great display of divine creation. it's worth the wait.

whatever your season, or however often you bloom (some 4 times a year, some 3, some 2, some just 1, some you've been in hibernation for a decade) honor what you are. honor your time. honor your growth. honor your needs. if you are a touchy orchid, own it. don't let people treat you like a sunflower and then act shocked and offended when you totally snap in half when they try to move you across the country in a bumpy car. there's no right or wrong way to live.

look at the lily's, see how they grow. they don't try to grow...they just grow. birds don't try to fly...they just fly. stop trying to bloom when it's not your time, and stop fighting your hibernation when it's your time to be still. 

just stop fighting. 

period.

see what happens next. you might just be amazed.