What a week of no complaining can do

wow. where do I start?

first of all, not complaining, at least for me, was way hard. like, having to go to a family reunion where you know no one and have to play get to know you games all day for a week hard. but...it was also amazing.

I can't tell you what a huge shift I had in just 7 measly days of being conscious and trying (as hard as I could) to not complain verbally or even in my head. but I can tell you that it was the best thing I could have done for myself right now. because I've been pretty bummed, and sad and struggling. and it helped me be...happier. happy(ish), just better all around.

the big things I complained about were actually the easiest things to let go of.

funny right? you would have thought it the other way around. it was the little itty bitty things that I didn't realize were so ingrained in my mental "routine" that were really hard to turn off.

like, even the first thoughts in your head when you wake up. have you ever really TRULY looked at those? are they complaints? mine were. so I had to catch myself and be all, "wait, what am I really complaining about? what is bothering me? why don't I want to get up?" and some of those questions led me down some not so pretty paths to a pile of stinky month old garbage that was never picked up. but once I saw the thoughts, it was a lot easier to let them go and change course.

does that make sense? your thoughts at the front of your head and what you are saying, probably aren't the main ones causing them. kind of like amish friendship bread. sure, you made bread, but that was made from a starter that was made from a starter that was...you have to go all the way back to the original starter bread and see what was in that. because if it was something gross, it's in your bread right now.

luckily we don't have to time travel, and instead can just choose to address what's going on and let it go.

the other small things I had to address were the thoughts I have, again in the morning, when I brush my teeth, get dressed and ready for the day, pack lunches etc etc etc.

BRUSHING MY TEETH "Holy crap, look at how tired and puffy I am. gross. I shouldn't have eaten sugar yesterday. I probably should start botox. I'm never going to get my act together and floss every day."

PACKING LUNCHES: (I should state, "helping" pack lunches). "my kids never eat healthy. I should be more environmentally conscious. if I was a better mom we wouldn't use plastic bags. they never listen to me. when is the last time they had protein?"

GETTING DRESSED: "ugh. I hate my clothes. no color. why am I not saving up for a better wardrobe? why don't I have more elastic waist pants? if I had my shiz together I'd be wearing jeans every day instead of elastic waist stretchy pants."

um...hello? what kind of garbage is that? and that is going on every.single.day. this is super gross people. no wonder I've felt so miserable since, oh, my twenties. sheesh.

so yeah, I went from really sad at the beginning of the week, to almost too happy by the end. ok, not "happy" but way better than when I started. just by trying not to complain. seriously. I wasn't yelling anymore at bed time. I was looking forward to the social event.

basically a lot of benefits that I would normally get from anti-depressants I was getting just from consciously choosing my thoughts even more than I usually do. just from watching and choosing my thoughts.

just from watching and choosing my thoughts.

WOW.

just...WOW.

can you imagine how your life could change if you did that all the time?

that is all.